Drew Panckeri has drawn a witch addressing an adult couple she has turned into inflatable pool floats.
I first imagined her chastising the couple for complaining:
-
- “You’re lucky I turned you into something that floats.”
- “One more word and I’ll turn you both into stones.”
- “You know what they’d do to me if I floated? Burn me at the stake.”
I next imagined her explaining why she’s wearing that particular hat, which has a nice wide brim:
- “Because I’m a witch. Also, I don’t want my forehead to burn.”
- “Because I’m a witch. Also, it protects me against harmful UV rays.”
I then tried to explain why she turned the couple into pool floats. Maybe they were pool-hopping: “Next time you’ll ask before using the pool.” Or maybe they insulted her figure: “Now who needs to get back in shape?”
I then made a reference to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by having her explain why she’s not getting in the pool: “Because I’d melt.”
I continued the Oz references for this caption: “I’m not wicked. I’m just hot and crabby.”
Now let’s see how you did.
The first set of captions explain why the witch cast her spell:
- “Next time don’t pee in the pool.”
- “I warned you about skinny dipping.”
- “Try splashing me now.”
Many of you assumed the couple had insulted the witch’s figure or swimsuit:
- “You could have said the swimsuit looks good on me, but I appreciate your honesty.”
- “Let’s try it again: do you like the new bathing suit?”
- “I had no idea you two were fashion critics.”
- “Does this swimsuit still make me look fat?”
- “Who’s got the better swimsuit body now?”
- “Now who looks a little puffy?”
One of you assumed the couple insulted something else the witch was wearing: “Any more thoughts on my hat?”
Another one of you had the witch being less vindictive and more self-deprecating: “Think you’re cursed? Have you seen my thighs?”
Like that last caption, the next few entries suggest that the witch’s curse may not be as bad as it seems:
- “You should see what I do to the neighbors I don’t like.”
- “You think this is punishment. Wait until the fat kids come.”
- “You’re not supposed to enjoy being the thing I turn you into.”
- “It’s for your safety. I just turned the lifeguard into a frog.”
I love that last caption, but it assumes the setting is a public pool even though the drawing makes it pretty clear that it’s a small and private backyard pool. I have the same issue with this entry: “In fairness, the sign did say changing room.” Also, the words “in fairness” are unnecessary.
These next two entries come at a clever joke from two different perspectives:
- “You can think about it as a curse, or as a great way to bond with your kids.”
- “There, it’s done. But I still think you’re making too many sacrifices for your kids.”
Like my “burn me at the stake” caption, the next two entries allude to the Salem witch trials:
- “If you float, you’re a witch.”
- “If you‘re innocent, you’ll sink.”
One of you had the witch taking a dismissive attitude toward the couple’s complaints about their new circumstances: “You two were drifting through life anyway.” Here, however, the witch is more reassuring: “I’ll change you back right after the pool party.”
Witches, especially those making appearances in New Yorker cartoons, are often mixing potions in or talking about cauldrons. Here are a few examples:
The next two captions address that trope:
- “You’d prefer a cauldron?”
- “Summer’s over. Back in the cauldron.”
In this entry the witch did not cast a spell, but she can guess what happened: “That wasn’t sunscreen.”
Choosing this week’s best entry is not easy because I’m having a hard time deciding between these two:
- “Now who looks a little puffy?”
- “Try splashing me now.”
They’re both great, and I can’t identify a good reason for selecting one over the other, so I flipped a coin and the winner is, “Try splashing me now.” I’ll be interested to see if Bob agrees.