John Klossner’s cartoon is set in a conference room where a horde of Vikings, who have burst through the door, are standing around two men and a woman who are seated at the conference table. One of the men is looking at his computer tablet and saying something. John’s original caption—“But first, some old business”—addresses both the office setting and the fact that Vikings haven’t been around for about a thousand years.
Bob Mankoff, Trevor Hoey, Joel Mishon, John Klossner and I judged this month’s entries, and we began by sending Trevor our top-ten lists. Trevor then identified captions that appeared on more than one list, and we reviewed those first. Then each of us got to advocate on behalf of entries that appeared on just our list. We were all steeling ourselves for the inevitable “hostile takeover” captions—there were even more than expected—but not one appeared on any of our top-ten lists. Just too obvious.
Several of you transformed an ordinary statement into a line that took on an entirely new and fitting meaning within the context of the drawing:
- “I’m thinking Zoom might be good for our follow-ups.”
- “We’ve been killing the competition.”
- “This round of cuts will be brutal.”
- “OK. You’re unsubscribed.”
- “They’re in acquisitions.”
There were also a few clever twists on common statements:
- “They’re demanding more rugged working conditions.”
- “Another pillaging that should have been an email.”
- “They want to offer some destructive criticism.”
This is a decent pun—“The workers demand a raze”—but it’s too close to the winning caption from Contest #662, which featured another Klossner cartoon:
“It’s about time they settled down and razed a village.”
A better and less expected pun, and a nice reference to the Scandinavian origins of Vikings, is, “So that’s three coffees, and two dozen Danish.”
I liked this entry—“Legal wants us to try negotiating with them first”—but Bob said that’s only because I’m an attorney. I also liked, “Before my clients kill, rape, pillage and burn, they have a few demands to avoid any unnecessary unpleasantness,” but the other judges convinced me that it would be much better without the word “rape.” They’re right, and I’m not just saying that because I don’t want to be known as a defender of rape jokes. The word’s unnecessary, and it interferes with one’s ability to enjoy what is otherwise a solid caption. Removing the word “rape” also improves the joke by turning it into a fine example of the comedy rule of three. Here’s are two more good examples of that rule:
- “They demand gold, England, and a podcast.”
- “What’s not to like? They’re highly motivated, work well within teams, and are willing to travel.”
That second caption would be better without the first sentence. Also, “work well within teams” is an awkward phrase, but I’m not sure how to improve it. Maybe by substituting “in” for “within?”
Bob liked, “Nobody expects the Viking expedition,”—a reference to an old Monty Python line—but he shouldn’t have, and I’m not just saying that because he criticized the “Legal…” caption I liked.
This next entry could have come from The New Yorker’s fact-checking department: “Yes, I am sure. It says right here… Vikings never wore helmets with horns.” That reminds me of a story New Yorker cartoonist David Sipress told Terry Gross when she interviewed him on Fresh Air:
SIPRESS: Years ago, I did a cartoon of – it’s sort of an ancient scene with a ancient building in the background, and it’s a guy with a sword leading a goat. And he – the goat is turning to another goat and saying, I’m having my entrails read – really excited. Well, I got a note from the fact-checking department that corrected – that said the knife was incorrectly drawn. It should be a single-bladed knife – blah, blah, blah. They even sent me a picture – and that on the building there were five columns. And there were always only even-numbered columns, so they asked me to change the number of columns. So I wrote back to the fact-checking department, and I said, “I understand your problem with the knife. I understand your problem with the number of columns. Why didn’t you have a problem with the fact that there’s a talking goat?”
Here’s the best reference to the January 6 insurrection: “Helen, could you show our new State legislators their offices?”
The best insurance joke: “Your ship policy does not include collision.”
The best joke about Twitter’s new boss: “This is still better than Elon Musk buying us.”
And the best pandemic joke: “It all started with the COVID beard competition.” That last entry is also a reference to hyper-masculinity, as is this caption: “I have an update on the testosterone trials.”
This next entry is not exactly a pandemic joke, but it refers to a phenomenon that became more common during the pandemic: “So much for quiet quitting.”
This caption isn’t really specific to Vikings, but it made us all laugh: “We’ve got to find a better doorman.”
Here are three versions of a joke that will resonate with anyone who’s struggled to reserve a meeting space at work:
- “Who’s going to tell them we booked the conference room first?”
- “I’ll be damned. They booked the conference room.”
- “I thought you booked the room?”
I’d like that last entry better without the questions mark. It’s an example of the high rising intonation (or upspeak) that I find grating, though I suppose it does accurately reflect the way some people talk. But most of the people who end a declarative statement with a question mark are younger than the man in the cartoon.
Speaking of annoying ways of talking, someone submitted, “Welp, looks like the ‘nays’ have it.” I have heard people say “welp” instead of “well”—God knows why they do it—but it’s a ridiculous word that detracts from an otherwise interesting caption.
This next entry notes that the Vikings were the first Europeans to reach North America, and that some people still object to celebrating Indigenous Peoples’ Day on the second Monday of October: “Complain all you want. It’s still Columbus Day.”
I’d like this caption even more without the second “our,” but it’s great as is: “If Google translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle.”
The next six captions all do a nice job of reconciling the disparate frames of reference (corporate offices and Vikings):
- “The sooner we get this signed, the sooner we can all get back to drinking from the skulls of our enemies.”
- “I had my doubts about a marauding Viking focus group, but the numbers are solid.”
- “Perhaps we should reconsider our plans to close the overseas office.”
- “Our only weapon is interest rate hikes, and it is a blunt instrument.”
- “They’re here to learn about plundering.”
- “Live by the sword, die by the audit.”
Finally, we have a reference to a provider of shared work spaces: “WeWork is getting out of hand.”
It’s been a while since I’ve highlighted that many entries, about ten percent of the total received. This week’s winner comes from David Mayerovitch: “If Google translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle.”
The five runners-up are:
- “Complain all you want. It’s still Columbus Day.”
- “I have an update on the testosterone trials.”
- “So that’s three coffees, and two Danish.”
- “We’ve got to find a better doorman.”
- “They’re in acquisitions.”
For those of you who are interested in seeing how we made our selections, we recorded the process and you can view it here.