Tom Toro has drawn two kids in a tree house. On the opposite side of the tree is a branch supporting a cubicle where a man is sitting at his desk and conducting business on the telephone. One of the kids is looking at this man, and the other is speaking and presumably explaining why the man’s there.
The drawing invites a lot of jokes playing on the word “branch,” so I initially went for the fairly obvious, “He’s the branch manager.”
I next had the kid trying to make the best of a bad situation by pointing out that most workers leave their offices as soon as they can: “Don’t worry. He’s always gone by 5:00.”
I then incorporated references to boys who refuse to let girls into their treehouses:
- “If he was a girl we could kick him out.”
- “OK, then. No girls or white collar workers.”
- “He had a secretary but I told him, ‘No girls allowed.’”
My next caption presumed that the kid actually wanted the office worker in the tree: “The lemonade stand wasn’t turning a profit so I started renting out office space.”
My final caption presumed that the kid didn’t want his new neighbor around and was prepared to get rid of him by any means necessary: “Get the saw.”
Now let’s see how you did.
The following captions improved on my “get the saw” line:
- “I’m saving my allowance for a saw.
- “Can you work your dad’s chainsaw?”
- “He’s getting the axe.”
- “The home branch isn’t producing. Prepare for cuts.”
There were a lot of “branch” jokes, and the best were superior to mine because they went beyond the pun:
- “Apparently, we now have a corporate branch.”
- “Hopefully he’ll transfer to another branch.”
- “He’s in charge of the other branch.”
- “Do we really need a branch manager?”
- “We need to close that branch.”
I was proud of my “renting out space” caption, but these two variations on the same joke are better:
- “I know, but renting out office space keeps our clubhouse dues low.”
- “The rent from the other branch pays for this place.”
The following two entries put a positive spin on the situation by alluding to a common practice among office workers that would appeal to kids:
- “Well, at least he brings donuts.”
- “I would complain, but he brings donuts.”
The next two captions explain why the office worker is in the tree:
- “My dad thought we weren’t spending enough time together.”
- “Bring your work to kids day.”
That second one surprised me. Such captions are common in contests featuring drawings with workplace settings, but most are not that good. This entry is the exception to the rule.
The next two captions don’t fit into a particular category, but they work beautifully by concisely incorporating references to both treehouses and office environments:
- “But we’re zoned residential.”
- “His job doesn’t look very secure.”
Finally, here’s a caption that doesn’t address a necessary element of the drawing (the treehouse) but does address the kids’ annoyance with their new neighbor, and it made me laugh: “But what I do mind is the fake Indian accent.”
Last week I declared a tie for the best entry, but this week I’m stealing a page from Bob’s playbook by announcing a winner and two runners-up:
The winner: “He’s getting the axe.”
Second place: “His job doesn’t look very secure.”
Third place: “We need to close that branch.”