Mick Stevens’s cartoon is set in a clothing store, where a very short woman addresses a sales clerk who’s standing behind a counter that’s taller than the customer.
My first two captions suggest that the customer is considering ways to make the dresses fit:
- “What if I wash it on hot?”
- “Can I have it taken in? And up?”
I then thought of a pun: “Do you ever have a short sale?”
Finally, I came up with a tortured reference to an Elton John classic from 1972: “Yes, I dance, but I’m also a seamstress for the band.”
Now let’s see how you did.
Here are the puns, one of which is very close to mine:
- “I’m just looking for a mini skirt.”
- “What about short sales?”
Here are some fine examples of common statements that take on a new and fitting meaning in the context of the cartoon:
- “Does the price include alterations?”
- “Free alterations?”
- “Will they shrink?”
- “Nothing in my size is ever on sale.”
- “Could you check in back?”
- “Do you have a one size fits all?”
That sixth entry needs a few hyphens.
This next entry takes a common expression and adds one word that turns it into a terrific caption: “I’m looking for a really little black dress.”
While this entry adds two words: “I want something that’s slimming and heightening.”
The next couple of entries put an ironic spin on common expressions:
- “Can I return items if they don’t shrink?”
- “Got anything that’ll shrink in the wash?”
- “Minus sizes?”
The following entry doesn’t address the setting and therefore can’t win the contest, but it did make me laugh by suggesting that the sales clerk just insulted the customer in a rude and fairly unoriginal way: “How would I know if there’s a circus in town?”
I’ll conclude with five strong entries that don’t fit neatly into any category:
- “I don’t care about 50% off. Do you have anything 50% smaller?”
- “Do you have any changing rooms where the curtain goes down to the floor?”
- “I’m looking for miniskirts. Or as I call them, skirts.”
- “I don’t wear off-the-rack, because I can’t get it off the rack.”
- “Can you reduce the size too?”
This week’s winner suggests the customer is either dense or eternally optimistic: “Could you check in back?”
ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST
Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.