Dan Misdea’s cartoon is set on a beach, where a couple has happened upon what appears to be a shipwreck survivor on a wooden raft that’s washed up on the shore. The survivor, who’s bearded and wearing glasses and torn clothes, is looking up at the man, who’s pointing at the survivor and saying something.
In my first set of captions, the man who’s speaking has mistaken the raft for surfing equipment:
- “Good for you—building a surfboard with sustainable materials.”
- “I’ve never seen a wooden boogie board.”
- “You should get one with a foam core and plastic bottom.”
- “Where can we rent one of those?”
Yesterday I was driving behind a man who had a bumper sticker that read, “I believe in property rights. What do you believe in?” That awful sentiment inspired my final two captions:
- “This beach is private.”
- “This isn’t a public restroom; you can’t just wash up here.”
Now let’s see how you did.
I’ll start with the puns:
- “You can’t die here. This is a no wake zone.”
- “I told you he was washed up.”
- “You’re all washed up.”
- “Man over board.”
Many of you suggested that the man who’s speaking thinks the raft is a surfboard or bodyboard:
- “I don’t know what’s worse – your board or your form.”
- “Can we borrow your surfboard?”
- “Where did you rent that?”
That last caption is similar but superior to one of my own.
These entries suggest that the man who’s speaking believes the shipwreck survivor simply doesn’t belong:
- “Could you please wash ashore on the public beach?”
- “The public beach is over there.”
- “Sorry this is a couples only resort.”
- “That’s quite a story, but you still need a beach tag.”
- “No public access.”
A related entry makes the speaker seem more oblivious than unwelcoming: “You don’t look like you’re from around here.”
These two captions focus on the survivor’s tattered pants:
- “The club prohibits cutoffs.”
- “Cutoffs? Seriously?”
While this caption focuses on the speaker’s footwear: “I don’t think you’re in any position to make fun of my Crocs.” I like that entry, but it would be punchier and therefore better if “I don’t think you’re in any position…” were shorted to “You’re in no position…”
In the next two captions, the speaker is not only oblivious but callous and selfish:
- “May I have the wood when you are done with it?”
- “That looks like a piece of our deck.”
A related entry has the couple engaged in a pointless debate: “No, look at the grain. I would say it’s cedar planking.”
So does this entry: “Help us settle a bet. Are you flotsam or jetsam?”
Here’s the best reference to the Tom Hanks movie, Castaway: “That reminds me, I’m expecting a FedEx package today.”
And here are four strong captions that don’t fit neatly into any category:
- “He’s asking 5 million for it, but it’s right on the water.”
- “Are you the yoga instructor?”
- “Have you seen our sandcastle?”
- “I’m sorry but we have this spot reserved.”
This week’s winner is, “That’s quite a story, but you still need a beach tag.”
Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in The New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.