In Ellis Rosen’s cartoon, a woman at an outdoor café is having a glass of wine with a ghost. The woman is speaking.
Ghosting is defined as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication,” so I came up with these two captions:
- “I hope you don’t suddenly stop calling.”
- “You look like the kind of guy who might disappear.”
I then focused on the ghost’s status as a dead white man.
- “So you’re dead. You’re still a white male with all the privileges that implies.”
- “My friends won’t even study dead white men, and I’m dating one.”
Now let’s see how you did.
I wasn’t the only one who relied on the modern definition of ghosting:
- “Promise you’ll call me tomorrow?”
- “You’re probably just going to ignore my texts.”
- “My granddaughter warned me about ghosting.”
- “You want to ghost me, fine, but you damn well better pay for the drinks.”
- “I was ghosted by my last date, too.”
- “Not the first time I’ve been ghosted.”
- “Ghosting me already?”
- “It usually takes a week before I get ghosted.”
I prefer the entries that don’t use some variation on the actual word “ghost,” but those eight captions are all pretty strong.
Several of you focused on the ghost’s translucent properties:
- “Here’s looking through you.”
- “I see right through you.”
- “We should see through other people.”
- “Here’s to being transparent.”
Or ability to disappear:
- “Sorry, I can’t see you anymore.”
- “I can’t see you anymore.”
- “When can I see you?”
- “Don’t disappear when the check comes.”
Or remain suspended in air:
- “Will you please stop hovering.”
- “Must you hover?”
In this next set of entries the woman is making a toast:
- “To afterlife.”
- “To your health!”
- “To new endings.”
- “L’chaim!”
- “Here’s to no longer minding that you’re late.”
That last caption may belong in this next set of entries, which cleverly play on one word’s double-meaning:
- “You’re late.”
- “Sorry you’re late.”
- “I’m sorry you’re late, too.”
A few of you incorporated a reference to the wine:
- “At least the wine is full-bodied.”
- “I prefer more body.”
- “Wine is good but I can’t handle spirits.”
Others had the woman trying to start a conversation:
- “Did you come here often?”
- “So tell me about your afterlife.”
- “I’m just looking to have a nice, paranormal relationship.”
No sex jokes this week—at least not any good ones—but these two entries show the woman rejecting or at least questioning the ghost’s attempt to make a pass:
- “No, I don’t want to go to your place now.”
- “How, exactly, do we go back to your place?”
Here’s this week’s best pun: “I finally feel haunted.”
I like this entry—“C’mon, live a little”—but it’s identical to a finalist from a New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest (#596) that featured a Frank Cotham drawing of a guy at a bar offering a beer to the grim reaper.
Finally, here are five strong entries that don’t fit into any particular category:
- “You’re dead to me.”
- “You remind me of my late husband.”
- “Why are all the good ones dead?”
- “Henry, you’re unbelievable.”
- “See if you can scare up our waiter.”
It’s been a while since we’ve had that many really strong entries, and the best of the lot is, “Sorry you’re late.”