Robert Leighton’s cartoon is set in an office, where a man behind a desk is reviewing a single piece of paper. Sitting across from him is The Grim Reaper, holding a scythe in his hand. The man is talking.
All my captions assume that the man behind the desk is from Human Resources.
If he’s interviewing a potential hire, he could be reviewing the applicant’s resume and saying,
- “We’re hoping you can help us downsize.”
- “We’re looking for a hatchet man, but a scythe will do.”
- “Where do you see me in five years?”
I then made some dark pandemic jokes by suggesting that’s he’s conducting an annual review of a current employee’s job performance:
- “You’ve had an excellent year.”
- “Your numbers were way up this year.”
Finally, I imagined the HR representative conducting a survey with an employee who’s leaving the company:
- “Wait, I thought this was your exit interview.”
- “Wait, this is my exit interview?”
Now let’s see how you did.
Several of you noted that the Grim Reaper’s CV would be missing one important section:
- “Your resume doesn’t list any references.”
- “Not even one reference?”
- “References?”
A similar set of entries suggested that he would have references, but none who could provide useful information:
- “Your references have been hard to contact.”
- “We’ve had trouble reaching your references.”
- “Why are all your references unavailable?”
- “I have not been able to reach any of your references.”
- “How come we aren’t able to contact any of your references?”
- “We tried calling your references, but their numbers were all disconnected.”
- “All your references appear to be deceased.”
- “Are all your references dead?”
These captions all have the interviewer addressing The Grim Reaper’s work history:
- “You’ve only had the one job?”
- “It says you have experience in the tobacco and automotive industries…”
- “I do like your downsizing experience.”
Here’s a common interview question that works especially well in the context of the drawing: “How would you describe yourself in one word?”
Like I did, a few of you made sick jokes about the pandemic:
- “Looks like 2020 was a very good year for you.”
- “I see you’ve been busy over the past year.”
- “Ok, by your standards it was a good year.”
- “Can you start today? We need those beds.”
Speaking of sick jokes: “Can you just let me proofread my suicide note?”
Unfortunately for whoever submitted this next entry, I have to resist the temptation to select it as the best of the week because it’s identical to one of my own: “Where do you see me in 5 years?”
Here’s a nice variation on the same joke: “Where do you see me in the next 5 minutes?”
Here are the week’s best puns:
- “You’ll be working the graveyard shift.”
- “You have a killer resume.”
- “Your background is in collections?”
- “Sorry, not enough life experience.”
And here’s the best reference to a 1934 drama starring Fredric March: “I see you’ve never taken a holiday.”
This next caption made me laugh, but it doesn’t really work unless the person sitting across from the man who’s speaking is Satan: “I don’t remember selling my soul, but that is my signature…”
In this next set of captions, the man behind the desk is a little mercenary:
- “Could you delay a couple of these? They have excellent insurance.”
- “Not just yet – he hasn’t paid his bill.”
The next two entries suggest that The Grim Reaper has significantly more leverage than the average job applicant:
- “What do you mean we will have an opening?”
- “And if I don’t give you the job?”
I’m highlighting this reference to Bob Mankoff’s most famous caption because it fits the drawing: “How about never? Does never work for you?”
Here’s a terrific twist on a common apology made by people who are running behind: “Sorry I didn’t keep you waiting.”
In this caption, the man behind the desk is grateful to The Grim Reaper for exercising some good judgment: “Thanks for not lingering in the waiting room.”
The next four entries suggest that the HR representative does not have long to live:
- “I’m telling you, you’ve got the wrong John Smith!”
- “Funny, this looks like my name on your resume.”
- “I see you were referred by my ex-wife.”
- “Yeah, well, I’m letting you go, too.”
One of you suggested that the man behind the desk is hiring The Grim Reaper for a very specific task and that the paper he’s holding is a list: “These are the board members I’d like replaced.”
A few of you assumed the man who’s speaking is not an HR representative but a doctor:
- “There’s nothing left for me to nip or tuck, but I could refer you to a good tailor.”
- “I’m sending you to a specialist I don’t like.”
- “I’ve got bad news for you but great news for everyone else.”
This week I highlighted about 3½ percent of the more than 1,200 entries we received, and the best of the lot is, “Sorry I didn’t keep you waiting.”
ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST
Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist four other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.