In Teresa Burns Parkhurst’s cartoon, three elephants are in a couple’s living room. The middle elephant says something to the one who’s facing him, while the couple remains oblivious.
“The elephant in the room” is a metaphor for an obvious and pressing problem no one wants to discuss, so I first came up with these three captions:
- “Why won’t they talk about us?”
- “We have to talk about the couple in the room.”
- “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like being a metaphor.”
I then tried combining references to both the metaphor and an elephant’s incredible memory: “There’s a metaphor that applies to this situation but, for the life of me, I can’t remember it.”
Because there are three elephants in the room, I imagined each one representing a different issue the couple refuses to address: “I’m alcoholism and he’s financial problems, so I’m guessing you’re…the affair?”
Finally, I abandoned the “elephant in the room” angle and went in an entirely different direction: “I never thought of us as indoor pets.”
Now let’s see how you did:
Of the more than 1,200 entries I reviewed, the vast majority alluded to the idea that the elephants represent difficult issues the couple would rather not address.
- “Have you been addressed yet?”
- “Can we talk about ourselves?”
- “Thick-skinned or not, it’s hard being ignored.”
- “But we can talk about them, right?”
Many of you suggested that the presence of more than one elephant suggested numerous unresolved issues:
- “This is what happens when you marry someone with three ex-spouses.”
- “Hopefully this will make them realize if they don’t address us, we multiply.”
- “I hope they go back to counseling. There is not room for any more of us in here.”
- “I remember when it only took one of us to make everyone feel awkward.”
- “I’d say they have multiple issues.”
- “Boy, do they have problems.”
- “This family has some serious communication issues.”
In that last caption, I would substitute “couple” for “family.”
Several of you identified the specific source of tension that each elephant represents:
- “OK. Jimmy can be the alcoholism, I’ll be the infidelity, and you can be the Trump issue.”
- “I’m unpaid bills, and he’s the stack of dirty dishes in the sink. You?”
- “Nice to meet you, Affair With The Neighbor. I am Unchecked Gambling Addiction.”
- “No, I’m finances, he’s kids. You’re his cute new secretary.”
- “I’m the STD. He’s the gambling problem. Who are you?”
- “I’m the extramarital affair. What about you?”
- “I’ve been here since the affair.”
- “So what do you represent?”
This next caption suggests that, while the couple has many problems, most are related to intimacy: “There’s more of us in the bedroom.”
The only way to resolve a problem, these entries note, is to address it:
- “Before yesterday’s therapy session, there were twelve of us.”
- “Well, they’d better start talking if they want to get rid of us.”
One of you suggested that the couple is not avoiding unresolved issues. They’re just absorbed in other activities: “Maybe they’re just really focused.”
This next set of entries suggest that the elephants are not the ones being ignored:
- “We need to talk about the people in the room.”
- “Are we going to address the people in the room?”
- “Just ignore them.”
The next five captions highlight—quite cleverly, I think—an aspect of the cartoon that I overlooked: The elephant who’s speaking is directly addressing just one other elephant. Therefore, it looks like he might be talking about the third elephant.
- “We need to talk about that other elephant in the room.”
- “What other elephant?”
- “Are we just going to ignore him?”
- “We can’t just ignore him.”
- “Ignore him.”
The next two captions rely on other metaphors for subjects no one wants to discuss:
- “You should see the skeletons in the closet.”
- “We’re being replaced by sleeping dogs.”
The rest of the entries I’m highlighting ignore the “elephant in the room” metaphor. Some play on the idea that an elephant never forgets:
- “Can you remember why we’re here?”
- “I forgot what I came in here for.”
- “I forget why we’re here.”
Here’s the week’s best pandemic joke: “They’re big believers in herd immunity.”
As I often do, I’ll conclude with a couple of captions that don’t fit neatly into any category:
- “Let’s run away and join the circus.”
- “Those poachers won’t find us in here.”
This week’s winner addresses not just the obvious metaphor but the actual number of elephants, and it reads well: “I’m the STD. He’s the gambling problem. Who are you?”
ENTER THIS WEEK’S CAPTION CONTEST
Lawrence Wood has won The New Yorker’s Cartoon Caption Contest a record-setting seven times and been a finalist two other times. He has collaborated with New Yorker cartoonists Peter Kuper, Lila Ash, Felipe Galindo Gomez, and Harry Bliss (until Bliss tossed him aside, as anyone would, to collaborate with Steve Martin). Nine of his collaborations have appeared in The New Yorker, and one is included in the New Yorker Encyclopedia of Cartoons.