In Mick Stevens’ drawing of a prehistoric couple sitting in a modern-day living room, the man is saying something to the woman.
Seeing the large framed paintings in the background made me think of cave paintings, so I had the man asking, “Why do they frame their paintings?”
I then imagined the man struggling to hold up his end of the conversation and trying to explain why he was having such trouble:
- “I just developed the capacity for language so I’m not very good at small talk.”
- “Sorry, I just developed the capacity to speak so I‘m not much for conversation.”
Maybe he wants to talk but isn’t good with opening lines: “So, Lois tells me you spent the last 200,000 years on ice.”
I then focused on the fact that both the man and woman are wearing the same clothing:
- “Why would they make it in my size if it wasn’t for a man?”
- “Stop calling it a dress.”
- “I wish I was comfortable enough with my masculinity to wear this outside the house.”
- “Not sure what I think of these unisex outfits.”
I also imagined the man and woman as a married couple rehashing the same old fight:
- “I’d gladly do some gathering if you ever spent a minute helping me hunt.”
- “I hunt all day and then you want help with the gathering?”
Those last two captions, however, don’t really match the characters’ expressions—they don’t look like they’re arguing—so let’s move on to your entries.
Several of you submitted clever lines coming from the woman, but she’s not the one talking. Be careful to correctly identify the character who’s delivering the line that will serve as your caption.
Many of you focused on the wine glasses, and I especially liked these two captions:
- “Notes of flint with a gravelly finish.”
- “Flinty.”
Others submitted captions explaining why this couple can afford such a nice home:
- “Every time someone lights a fire, I get a royalty check.”
- “That wheel idea has paid off nicely.”
Like I did, one of you made a reference to cave paintings: “Once we draw on the walls it’ll feel more like our place.”
Most of the inevitable “man cave” jokes were too obvious, but I liked these:
- “How do you figure I, of all people, shouldn’t have a man cave?”
- “I was thinking about turning the basement into a man cave.”
Cavemen cartoons invite jokes about inventing things like the wheel, and these were among the best:
- “My sister is coming over. She invented the third wheel.”
- “We just invented the uncomfortable silence.”
- “Let’s invent small talk.”
Here’s a terrific reference to the “Seinfeld” episode in which Jerry and George are mistaken for a gay couple and struggle to clarify the misunderstanding without sounding homophobic: “I think the new neighbors are Homo Sapiens. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” God, I love “Seinfeld.”
The next two captions directly address the incongruity of a prehistoric couple relaxing in a present-day living room:
- “I never thought we’d live this long.”
- “How long have we been sitting here.”
One of you imagined the couple on a date, and had the caveman making a pass that was in one respect very civilized (in keeping with the surroundings) but still in character: “Do I have your consent to drag you by the hair?”
The following caption works because it incorporates a reference to prehistoric times while sounding like something a husband might say to his wife while relaxing with some wine at the end of the day: “Guess who I saw at the Museum of Natural History?”
This next caption cleverly addresses both passionless relationships and cavemen: “The fire is gone.” A similar caption expresses the couple’s longing for the excitement of youth: “I miss clubbing.” And finally, here are two clubbing captions that have nothing to do with regret:
- “Want to go clubbing?”
- “Let’s go clubbing.”
That last caption is the best of the week, so congratulations to whomever submitted it.