Jon Adams’ cartoon poses an unprecedented challenge because no one in the drawing is speaking. Who, then, is delivering the line that will serve as the caption? Is someone we can’t see commenting on the bird that’s flown through the window? Should the caption reflect the bird’s thoughts? Or should the caption be the cartoon’s title, in the same way that “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” could have served as the title of Bob Eckstein’s drawing from last week’s contest? I’ll explore all three possibilities.
Assuming someone outside the frame is speaking:
I first made a reference to a video game (“That is one angry bird”), and then to the current protests against police brutality: “Even the birds are rising up.” Finally, I blamed the homeowners for the damage: “We wouldn’t have to replace it if you hadn’t made me clean it.”
Assuming the caption reflects the bird’s thoughts:
I first noted that birds sometimes fly into windows that reflect an image of trees: “Where the hell did all the trees go?” I next imagined the bird exacting revenge against the cause of so many avian fatalities: “Take that, you murderous son of a bitch.” I then had the bird cursing the cleaning agent that made the window appear invisible: “Goddamn Windex.” Then I made another reference to the protests: “Fuck the police.” The bird in the drawing could be a starling, and because a flock of starlings is called a scourge, I came up with this caption: “I’m a lone scourge.” Finally, I had the bird brag about his insanely reckless behavior: “And they think loons are crazy.”
Assuming the caption should be the title of the drawing:
I could come up only with the title I gave this commentary: “Angry bird.”
Now let’s see how you did.
Assuming someone outside the frame is speaking:
This reference to #BlackLivesMatter includes a decent pun: “It’s so bad, the doves are rioting.”
Assuming the caption reflects the bird’s thoughts:
Like I did, three of you blamed the accident on the homeowners:
- “Buy some blinds, dammit…”
- “That was one well-washed window.”
- “If only they wouldn’t wash their windows, this wouldn’t happen.”
That last caption would be even stronger if the final three words were moved to the beginning of the sentence, so the punchline appears at the end: “This wouldn’t happen if they stopped washing their windows.”
Here are the best of the Windex captions:
- “Curse you, Windex.”
- “Who gave the cat Windex?”
- “Damn Windex!”
- “I hate Windex!”
- “I hate Windex!!!”
I included that last caption, which is identical to the one preceding it, because it highlights the problem of multiple exclamation points. They serve no purpose. If you need convincing, take a look at, Read This Article!!! How many exclamation points do you need to be genuinely enthusiastic? The Atlantic, June 27, 2018. As the author notes, “The exclamation point denotes exclamation. That is its point. One should suffice.”
These captions honor the power of positive thinking:
- “I thought I could, I thought I could.”
- “I think I can.”
- “Be a rock, be a rock, be a rock…”
I love that third entry, but I’d love it even more if the word “a” were replaced with “the.”
Here’s a decent pun: “I can feel your pane.” Still, it would be better without the word “can.” One unnecessary word may not seem like a big deal, but it matters in a caption that contains only five words.
This is a clever reference to the speed of sound: “Well, I did break some kind of barrier…” I would, however, replace “did break” with “broke.” Also, why end the captions with ellipses? They indicate that the speaker has trailed off and left a sentence or a thought unfinished, and they can be effective for that purpose, but I think they’re overused in caption contests and not necessary for this entry. I’ll level the same criticism at this reference, which I otherwise like, to the current pandemic: “If they’re going out, I’m coming in…”
Here’s a good allusion to the current protests against police brutality, some of which have turned violent: “Black birds matter!”
These next eleven entries explain why the bird flew (or, in one case, was swatted) through the window:
- “God, I love espresso!”
- “Be more concerned about what’s chasing me, folks.”
- “I’ve got to remember to leave a key hidden outside.”
- “It’s almost as if they’re trying to keep me out.”
- “I’m so late.”
- “Sorry, I thought you were open.”
- “I should have picked ‘Truth.’”
- “I hate badminton.”
- “Next, the glass ceiling.
- “Cross that off my bucket list.”
- “Never get directions from a cat.”
Assuming the caption should be the title of the cartoon:
One of you alluded to the fact that almost a billion birds a years are killed by flying into windows: “Birds: 1; Windows: 1,038,234,845,217” Someone else acknowledged a classic suspense film: “A formative moment at the Hitchcock residence.” And this entry is great—“A bird with agoraphobia”—but might be even better if it were shortened to just the last word.
These two entries play on common sayings:
- “When the cat’s away.”
- “The Bluebird of Cranial Trauma.”
But this might be the best title of all: “Invasive Species.”
One of you highlighted just how difficult this week’s contest was: “Jon Adams stumps Lawrence Wood…and me.” Nevertheless, a surprising number of you came up with really strong captions/titles. The best? “That was one well-washed window.”